After a frazzled morning where I almost canceled my flight, it's time to go back to eternal summer AKA Miami. I'm here waiting in the airport in Wichita mentally preparing myself for the school week ahead. It's finally hitting that Wichita is not home for the year. I realize that I have lived in Miami for over 5 months now but after coming home, running around trying to visit friends and family, I've finally accepted that my job for this school year has been to make my own life in Miami. I do not think I've done a terrible job so far but I don't think that I've done fantastic either.
The first 5 months were really a struggle. I struggled to get my grounds as a teacher, feel comfortable in a brand new city thousands of miles from home, put more trust in God and stop relying on my own plans, and just feel confident in myself as a young woman all together. As people started asking what my experience has been like so far, I started describing it as a roller coaster. That's not to say that I've had a horrible experience so far but I think at times I let myself dwell on the rough spots more than the positives. I have been very lucky and fortunate throughout this adventure. I have two great roommates, that while we may not be best friends yet, I do consider them sources of comfort down there. It's sometimes easier for me to hold my struggles in because I do not want to be a burden or complain too much but I feel very proud of myself for opening up to them.
I have also been blessed with students who are continually teaching me each day. While I do have many stressful days with them, I have also had the chance to grow because of them. First year teachers never have it easy. It's supposed to be rough but there are also going to be those great moments when you remember why you wanted to teach. While it might be easier to teach back in Kansas, I've also been able to experience more because I have to do it on my own. My students might not always have much in terms of possessions and things which reminds me to be grateful for what I have. There is always someone that has less than you. My students are always blissfully happy (most days I should say) because some of them don't realize that there is more they could have. They are happy with what is given to them. Their parents work hard to put food on the table and give them an education. When I was their age, I thought everyone was given that. Down here, that's not the case.
I'm so glad I was able to come home and see my family this Christmas. I knew how good I had it before I left. I was surrounded by a family and friends who loved and supported me unconditionally. They pushed me to be a better person each day whether that was being a better teacher, friend, daughter, sister, Catholic. I had life easy at home which is why I knew I had to leave. Leaving is the hardest but I have grown so much because of this choice. Coming home was amazing and I had a great 2 weeks back in Kansas. My heart is definitely still there and I will be looking for jobs back in the state once my year of service down here is over but it's time to finish what I started. I dreaded leaving Kansas but that was only because it was easy at home. It's easy to be a place where I know everyone, know the area, and my faith feels much stronger when I'm home but God did not send me somewhere where it was supposed to be easy. School will probably be a bit rocky this week because students never want to go back to school after Christmas break. I will probably struggle getting back into my routine down there and definitely feel a bit homesick at times but there are lots of adventures to be had still. I have more struggles to get through but also numerous memories to make. God has lots of plans up His sleeve still. I have a few goals that I want to reach:
~Be a better teacher these next 5 months. I want to be more patient with them and make sure they really enjoy school.
~Go on more adventures and really take time to enjoy the fact that I live in FLORIDA! I have gone and traveled the first 5 months but as it starts to get warmer again, I better take advantage of it.
~Compete in a race with my friend Cristina. We are looking at running at least a 5K but I'm starting to consider maybe running a half marathon by the end of 2012. It takes a lot of dedication and training but I think I could really do it. If anyone would like to take up this challenge with me, I welcome you!
~Pray more for what God wants for me and stop focusing on what I want for myself. This especially holds true as I start to apply for teaching jobs for the 2012-2013 school year. I have no idea where I want to teach much less what grade so listening to God will be a key factor for me.
I might update more later but I need to let my laptop charge before we board in an hour. Pray for safe travels for all those traveling over the next few weeks. I'm sure the airports are going to be madness.
Love and serenity,
Lauren
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