Eat, Pray, Love

School today went fine for the most part.  I had to send one of my students to the principal because he made a comment about killing someone. He said it out of frustration but regardless, still not appropriate in school or ever.  One of my second grade girls walked up to me right before lunch and was looking rather sad.  She had a piece of paper in her hands and handed it to me.  As I started to read it, I realized it was an apology letter for how she had been acting.  She is very easily distracted in class and tends to shut down and cry when she gets in trouble.  She also struggles with turning her homework in but in second grade, she's not the only one.  When I finished reading her note and saw how heartfelt it was, I gave her a hug and asked her what we could do to make sure she has better behavior in class from now on.  On the note, we made a list of things she will do and I told her if she behaves, I will give her a sticker.  I signed it at the bottom as Ms. Halstead and then she started to sign her name.  She paused at the first letter though and erased it.  I was confused and thought she wanted to write it neater.  Instead, she wrote "Miss" and then her last name.  I found this pretty funny but she had a big grin on her face when she was finished.  Hopefully this works! 

After school, I decided to join Patricia for art with the elementary students.  We did our own crayon interpretations of Van Gogh's "Starry Night".  One of the kindergarten teachers, Mrs. Morra, teaches art to whoever signs up and she is really great at it.  It was very relaxing and soothing to just focus on my art.  

Once we got back from school, I had my normal date with Jillian Michaels and her wonderful workout.   We have community nights on Wednesday nights so Amanda, Patricia, and I cooked dinner (tacos!) and then sat around to talk about recent events.  We had another volunteer leave the program this week.  I'm very sad but it was her decision.  After dinner, we all sat down and watched "Eat, Pray, Love".  Now I realize I have not told my story of how I came to Florida yet but I had many signs that really made my thoughts of doing volunteer work concrete.  This movie was one of those signs.  I first saw it last year with three girls that were Elementary and Middle School Math.  We had all taken our licensure test over the summer and successfully passed it so that was our reward.  I was still pondering the idea of doing volunteer work after college but hadn't told anyone yet and when I saw this, I knew it was a sign.  As I began to watch it again tonight, it took me back to all the emotion I felt when I was making my decision for this year. 

Julia Roberts/Liz felt so lost and empty inside even though she had been married for many years.  She struggled with what to do and had emotional breakdowns until she realized that it would be impossible to leave but more impossible to stay.  I faced many emotional nights before I went to bed last year because I was so torn about what to do.  Just like Liz in the movie, I knew I needed a change for myself because I felt like I wasn't moving forward.  I could have stayed at home and I love Wichita and Kansas, we all know this, but as a person, I knew that God wanted me to experience a change within myself that could not happen while at home.  Many a night I fought with myself about the idea because often times I felt selfish about leaving but then realized that as a person, I would not be able to grow as much if I stayed put.  Then when I was finally okay with God's plan for me, I wasn't sure where to go.  Once again, like Liz, I've spent my whole life talking to God and not listening to Him enough.  

God and I have had a lot of talks lately about why I'm not more involved down her like I was in college. I thought I was going to be doing so much more down here and I'm working slowly but surely to do that but maybe this year, God doesn't want that for me.  Maybe for once I need to slow down my life and stop rushing and hurrying.  Part of the program is living simply so maybe that's what God wants for me.  To slow down my life and really focus on what He wants for me.  Liz figured out what was important to her by the end of the movie and was able to find a balance between life and love.  She also traveled to three countries and by no means is that my plan after this year is over, but maybe I'll have a better idea of how to balance my life once this year is over.  Finding balance in my spiritual life, social life, and now school/work life.  It's never easy and it's going to be really hard.  I'm not sure the changes that will ensue throughout the next several months and who knows, maybe I've already started changing, but if it's what God wants, then I have to do it.  He knows what's best. Not me.  

To finish my night on a less serious note, the Cardinals won tonight and the series is tied 2-2 with the Phillies.  I hope they can pull out their next win on Friday.  And Julia will be here in two short days! I'm getting very excited! 

My bedtime seems to be coming earlier and earlier.  Before I know it, I'll be going to bed at 8 but I really hope not.  Have a great day and to leave you with a quote from the movie, "Ruin leads to transformation."