Change

So I realize that I have not formally written on here for a week now.  Last week at school, I experienced a lot of different struggles.  Both grades had a math test and when we reviewed, both grades were confused as to what we were going over.  This really hit hard for me because I kept wondering what I had done wrong while I was teaching for the past month.  I decided to push the 3rd grade test back a day and the 2nd graders still took their test on time.  The 2nd graders did much better on their test than I expected but when the 3rd graders took their test a day later, their scores were still not very good.  They will be re-taking their test this week sometime.  While dealing with this situation, I also have been struggling more and more with the teaching set up.  It is becoming more and more challenging to teach two grades at once in my style of teaching.  I like to be with my students, monitoring and checking to make sure they are understanding but that is very difficult to do when I have to go give my attention to the other grade.  It's also hard for them to work in groups, do stations, or work with manipulatives because they have a hard time controlling their noise.  They need those things in order to learn best, I think, but it's not really working out very well.  I can't stand letting them working on their own and staying quiet constantly.  I'm just not sure what to do some days.  I also have not been getting to all my subjects but my teacher wants grades for those subjects so she gives them homework without having talked about it in class.  Another difference of opinion. 

I know that these are all learning points for me and that is the point of this year.  This is not to say I haven't had positives this week because I have had little positives each day that make it better.  My students definitely do little things to brighten my day and the grades my 2nd graders got on their tests definitely made me smile.  Mrs. Lopez told me a little more about her life on Friday and it made me feel especially grateful.  She told me that her and her husband had once owned an advertising company, eventually had to close it down, and lost around $125,000.  Her husband is gone constantly talking at retreats around the country so she only gets to see him on the weekends when she flies to where he is.  Sometimes she speaks at the retreats as well.  They live off her teacher salary and the money people donate to their family while he is at the retreats.  They have 2 children, one in high school and one in college now.  There was lots more to her story but I admire her for the different struggles she had endured and how much trust and faith she puts in God. 

This weekend, I have finally made it to the beach, put together my bed frame, purchased a frame for the matte with all sorts of notes from my friends, and started fulfilling my pen pal duties! (By the way, if anyone else wants to be pen pals, I would love to write you a letter or 5!) I feel like I had a refreshing weekend and I have a visit from Julia Morgan on Friday to look forward to! As I think about the months ahead, I am realizing that my friendships might change and that I myself will change.  We should always be looking to change.  Change for the better, hopefully.  This week I have been much more vigilant in my desire to start working out again.  It is hard work but this is a change I want for myself so I have to put forth the effort and do it.  Sometimes we talk about all these changes we want to see but we don't take action to make them happen.  God cannot do it all for us.  He gives us the means and ability to make these changes happen but we must carry out the actions.  Ghandi tells us, "Be the change you wish to see in the world." If I didn't want to make a change in myself, I would not be down here.  As we all go through new changes this year, remember who helped you throughout those changes and also, who you might need during those hard changes.  So thank you to everyone who has helped me through all these different changes I have and will continue to be enduring.  While I know that God puts everyone in our lives for a reason, I also have to remember that He can also take them out of our lives.  Sorry that was slightly morbid but I am having to constantly bring myself back to the fact that not everyone will be in our lives forever. 

So that was my week summed up in a shorter post.  And on a slightly positive note, we went to the same church two weeks in a row.  That has to mean something good right?  The second reading was also very helpful in that.  Philippians 4:8, "Finally, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is gracious, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."  Think about the good in your lives because we have lots to be thankful for.  


"If you would become what you were meant to be, you would set the world on fire." ~St. Catherine of Sienna


Oh and, Go Cards!