Strength

Today started out a bit rough for me.  So many have told me I am strong for going out of my comfort zone and leaving everything I know behind in Kansas.  It does take strength or at least a lot of guts to do this but I am realizing my weaknesses more each day.  Although I consider myself decently independent, I realized how much I truly depend on my family and friends when times are scary and I am facing the unknown.  During Mass this morning, the songs kept talking about not being afraid which of course made me emotional.  After being a mess for the next several hours, I have come to the realization, once again, that we are not strong on our own.  While I do feel very lonely down here some days, I am not alone.  The Sisters of St. Joseph have been very hospitable and understanding of my situation.  I also have a good support system back in Kansas even though everyone is so far.  I am even starting to develop my support system within my program because Cristina texted me today just when I was needing a boost.  My strength and my help needs to come from God though.  There's a song that I have been listening to that is called "My Help Comes From the Lord" that reminds me that He can do everything I need if I just truly trust in Him.  Another song that I listen to when I'm feeling down is, "Come to Jesus" or "Untitled Hymn" by Chris Rice where I am reminded to fall on God and He will listen to anything.  He would rather listen to me in all my tears than me not to go Him at all.  My trust in God is being stretched farther and farther each day but that is never a bad thing.  


I was on the phone with my friend Jonathan today and reminded me that while it is hard right now, I am making myself stronger.  That I am so much stronger than others who have stayed in one place but thought about going to do work like this.  It's the fear of the unknown that is a struggle and always will be.  We are human and far from perfect so not everything in life will be easy for us.  


On a happier note, I got to meet my other roommate, Amanda, tonight! She is originally from Tampa and went to college in Philadelphia.  She was out of the country with her boyfriend's family in Colombia during training.  She seems really nice and being from Florida, she knows lots of people everywhere! Her, Patricia (my other roommate), and myself will be on the great apartment/house hunt tomorrow.  I joked with the sisters that I should bury a St. Joseph statue somewhere and they suggested my hair! (For those of you that don't know, St. Joseph is the patron saint of selling houses and I figured someone has to sell the place to us so it could help.)


I ended my night with a few phone calls to keep my spirits up.  Maybe we will find a place tomorrow and then I can hit the beach for the rest of the week!! I'm not used to being out of the sun for so long thanks to camp.  Say prayers for a good housing hunt tomorrow!