Today Patricia and I, along with all the other new teachers, met for a little bit with Sr. Stephanie. The two of us got to leave the meeting a little early because we had already filled out most of the paperwork for CVIF. After our meeting, we had a staff meeting together where we received our calendar for the year. Being selfish, I looked at the dates when we had extended breaks so I could come home. Christmas is a definite and then I found out that they combine their Spring Break with Easter so I have about a week and a half off in April as well. So for those of you that were planning to come, I will be in Florida every other day but those most likely!
After the meeting, we had lunch and then started working hard on the classroom. Like I had anticipated, Julissa put me to work on writing the students names on everything. We had to stop for a bit though to go learn about their online system and then help Sr. Kathy move materials across the grounds. I think Sr. Kathy got tired of moving it all though because an announcement came over the intercom saying that the teachers could take anything they wanted from the old art room. It was like Black Friday or Christmas for teachers. Such a funny moment! Julissa had me carrying stacks of different art supplies, teaching charts, etc. up to our room. I'm still not sure where she plans on fitting all of it because we are definitely running out of space! One thing I do know though, is that teachers can always find space when they need it. I think some teachers are secretly hoarders. ha ha. I continued with writing our students names on their name plates and then writing the classroom discipline plan and rules for the remainder of the afternoon. Once I remember all my students' names, I will have to tell you some of them! There were some neat ones! Before I knew it, Patricia and I had to go so she could meet a friend.
Once I got back to the apartment, I started trying to figure out how to rent our washer and dryer. The internet was causing me stress though and kept kicking me off but luckily Amanda had already decided to get us some better wireless internet while she was at the Comcast store picking up our cable boxes. Once she got back, I spent a solid hour trying to figure out how to set up the new wireless. It did not come with instructions so I "Googled" it to figure it out. I did it, an hour and lots of confused times later. I could not do it again though. It just started working so I went with it. I am now very pleased to say that Skype and Facetime are now at full working capacity! I tested both this evening, one with Jenae and the other with my friend Gwen. The rest of my evening, after finishing talking to them, was spent attempting to pack for Tampa tomorrow! It might come as no surprise though that I'm not done.
Now I realize the title of this post has not made any connection so far to what I have said. Here's the real reason that I wrote that as the title. As things finally start to fall into place here, I have come to realize that I am not letting myself fully enjoy this experience. I am still withholding part of myself, not giving fully of myself so I can have the best experience at St. James and with everything else. For example, I still have my watch set to Kansas time. I know I should change it but part of me doesn't want to because Kansas still feels like home so I want to remind myself of everyone there. There are lots of little things that I just catch myself holding onto when I could be sharing more of myself. It's not fair of me to be selfish when I'm down here to give so my goal for the next month is to let go of all the little things that stress me out that are back home and let God take care of them. There have been several nights this week when I couldn't sleep because I am worried about a situation that is thousands of miles away. This is where my lack of trust in God comes into play. If I had more trust in Him, then I could sleep better and also be able to look forward to all the great times to come down here! Please do not take this as I want to forget about you because that is the last thing I want. I just need to figure out how to hold on to what is back home but embrace what is here and now. I miss home but it's time for me to accept that Kansas will keep going without me. I know I told many people that Kansas won't change much when I'm gone and it's time I took that to heart. I have to let go of everything that I wonder about and let God take care of it. He got me this far and there is so much more He will lead me to. It won't be easy; it will probably be pretty hard but I have to at least try.
Well I posted a little earlier tonight! I might not write tomorrow night because I'll be driving to Tampa and I'm not sure what Cristina and Candace have in mind for when I get there. I love you all!
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