So last night I was very fortunate to be able to spend time with Laura and Victor and the rest of their family at dinner and then we went and walked at Downtown Disney which was neat for me. It does make me realize though, how much I miss being surrounded by a family. I know that I will be back up to visit them. This morning Laura and I ran to Target to get me a few things before I left to drive down to look at a condo with one of my roommates, Patricia. I drove about 3 hours down to a little north of Ft. Lauderdale to look at this condo and just didn't feel right about it so we will keep looking. Until then, I will be staying with the Sisters of St. Joseph right next to my school. I am very grateful to let me stay with them until we find a permanent place. I do hope that we find a place soon because I am ready for some stability down here. God is definitely stretching me because all this moving is wearing on me. I am keeping my hopes up though and hoping that we find a place this week since school does not start yet. I am becoming more and more aware of how different Florida is from Kansas. From the drive where I was constantly surrounded by palm trees and rain to having to basically unpack my car because nothing is safe here, my eyes are becoming more opened to how lucky I truly was back in Kansas and still am.
Reflection
Looking back at this past week from driving down here and leaving so much behind to getting everything down to Miami, I'm realizing how much change I will truly experience this year. I reached many points and moments of frustration this week due to many things. As many of you know, change is something that I do not always handle well. I have been working to put my trust in God but also realizing that saying it isn't enough. I have said I trust God with a lot of things but in the grand scheme, maybe my trust in Him isn't that strong or at least not as strong as it needs to be. During my points of frustration this past week, there were so many times when I looked back at my decision to move to Florida. I could have stayed home in Kansas and started teaching and I'm sure I would have enjoyed it. I have so much comfort back in Kansas and life would have been easy for me, or at least not as stressful as it has been lately. But then the thought that I had when I chose to come to Florida came to me: if God wanted things to be easy, we wouldn't ever challenge ourselves or experience new things. This wasn't meant to be easy for me. God wants me to stretch myself and change me for the better. It's going to be hard and I know that many tears will be shed because that is just who I am but I also know that there will be lots of laughter and smiles to be had. It is so scary and frustrating right now. I cannot hide that from anyone but I am not homeless. I am not without food and I am definitely not alone. Even though the distance is hard right now and I want so much to have a huge hug from someone back home, it is time for me to be a big girl and make some decisions for myself down here. I was talking with Sr. Stephanie who I am staying with right now and she told me that the teacher I am working with is so excited to work with me. I cannot wait to see my students. I got to see some pictures of them and I know that once I get into that school, everything will feel right again. The in-between, as I have mentioned before, is the dark and rough part of anything in life I think. The unknown. We went to Mass twice this past week and it made me feel so at peace. I am ready to have a home parish so I can just sit like I used to in Emporia. Sitting in a church always makes me feel better.
So to sum it all up: what's easy and what's right are never the same thing. I made the right decision in coming down here but I have new challenges to face. I must bend my personality and everything else about myself in order to adapt. There will be rough times up ahead but God always provides and He will take care of me as well as everyone else. He will guide me in the right direction, no matter what I am thinking about. Thank you all for your support and prayers. They get me through these uncertain moments!
No comments:
Post a Comment