On Thursday, I said "good bye" to one of my dearest students for the last time. It brought tears to my eyes and I knew it would. My heart started to ache and I was only imagining what the next day would be like. I prayed all night that all my students would be at school the next day so I could give them a proper "good bye" and all but 6 of them were there so I could not be too upset. We started our last day of school with Mass and it really started to hit in the middle of Mass that this was the last time I would share in this sacrament with them. My heart started to sink once again as one of my 2nd graders laid her head on my shoulder.
Once Mass finished, we went back to the classroom for the last hour of school to pass out awards and just have fun together one last time. Parents started showing up and before I knew it, it was time to give them all one last hug. Some of them were ready to go and went on their way but others stayed and held on to me which made it even worse. The parents of those students knew I wasn't coming back which made it all the more difficult. I received many compliments about how I did this year but that did not ease much of the pain I was feeling as I let my students walk out the door. Eventually we walked down to the courtyard so that the parents could get their student(s) right away without having to walk all around the school. One of my third graders was adamant not to leave me and insisted I give her my phone number. I told her I could not do that but that we would keep in contact through my co-teacher next year. Her older sister had also become like another student in my class because she stayed after school in the homework help program so giving her one last hug was just as tough. Their 2 little sisters even knew I wasn't coming back and told me good luck in Kansas next year. Watching their family leave will probably be engrained in my mind for a long time because the tears started flowing again once they left.
I can't believe that close to 10 months ago my class walked in with big eyes to see their new teacher and now I will have to walk away with big puffy eyes because how much they have changed me. I have been praying and hoping all week that I did something right with them Some of them, even if I do come back and visit soon, I will never see again because they are moving out of state or to another school. Those "good byes" were especially tough because I will never know what happens to them. I can only pray that God protects them and they stay close to Him in the future. Being a teacher has all of a sudden become so scary because I realized on that last day of school how much of an impact I might have had this year. I will never truly know the impact on had on this class of 2nd and 3rd graders but I think I got a small glimpse in those last few hours.
We had a teacher luncheon to end the school year that afternoon and as the teachers left, I realized it was the last time I would be in the same room with all of them again. No one really said "good bye" or "good luck" to me and that was okay with me but I almost felt a bit empty because of it. I think I will experience more closure when I actually finish summer school in a month.
I have this whole week off before summer school starts so I will be spending some of that time at the beach and working on projects I've been wanting to do all year. It's time to enjoy my last month in Florida before I move back to Kansas for good!
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