Beginning of the End

We have 3 more days of school left and in those days we will be having a party, cleaning, and receiving awards.  It still has not completely clicked in my head that come Friday or whenever some of my students decide to leave and not come back, that I might not see them again--ever.  I know that is very pessimistic to think and I can only hope I did my best with them.  I printed off pictures of them today to give them tomorrow so that hopefully they can remember this school year.  Their faces in the picture were so happy and it started to break my heart inside that I will have to leave them.  I know they will never understand it but they changed me this year and watching them walk away on Friday will be the toughest part of my year.  So many people tell me I'm a good teacher but honestly, I'm not sure I will ever know, especially when I can't continue to watch them grow as a person.  I could teach them every standard required and advance them as far as possible but unless I know they are a good person who keeps God in their life and respects everyone around them as well as themselves, I'm not sure I will ever feel like an accomplished teacher.  I worry for my students that have particularly poor attitudes and no motivation in school.  Some days I try my best and some days I just get so frustrated because of how negative they are.  I hope and pray that their mind changes and they find direction in this world.  I don't want them to be lost at such a young age. 

I think I've done enough deep thinking and worrying about them tonight.  I did some baking this evening for their party and during the day, after the students left, I did some classroom cleaning so the room is certainly starting to look barren.  I guess that's really the sign that the school year is over.  Come Friday, I will be able to check first year of teaching off the list.  That in itself almost brings tears to my eyes.  I better get some sleep before I get too emotional.  Good night and may you find peace in all that you do and remember that we never know the impact we might have on someone else.