On this day one year ago, I said 'goodbye' to my dad, the last person that I saw from Kansas and started my adventure in Florida as a Catholic Volunteer. Looking back at my posts from a year ago, it is still very vivid in my mind how difficult that first week away from home was but also how necessary this past year was for me.
I could go on about how the first two weeks being down in Florida were some of the most difficult I've ever experienced on my own. I could relive all the frustrating moments from the school year but as all those thoughts come to mind, I know that God gave me all those experiences for a reason. I left Kansas and everything that was comfortable to me so I could struggle. By the end of college, I had such a routine going that I knew if I didn't leave, I'd get stuck in the motions and never really live life as God intended me to live it. I left for a number of reasons that I did not always share with people but I knew that I really needed a chance to struggle and fight on my own.
God gave me the great luxury my whole life of being surrounded with supportive friends and family who were at my side constantly. Whether in Emporia or Wichita, if I needed someone, they could be there in an instant. But let's be honest, I've never really faced true problems in my life. This past year, my eyes were open to the true issues of the world and that's when I came to realize how selfish I really could be sometimes. I've said it before and I'll keep saying it: it's not about me or you or anyone or anything. We are meant to live our life for God and through God, always serving Him to the best of our abilities. I wasn't in a 3rd World country or living in a very poor part of Miami so really, I had life pretty good this past year but even the slightest of sacrifice for the sake of others, can make all the difference in someone's life. Now my students might not remember me two years from now or even next year but no matter how many times I came home from school frustrated, I will always be grateful to have had them in my life. Some of the struggles they encountered daily outside school far surpass any struggle I might ever face in my life back here in Kansas.
My eyes needed opening this past year and opened they were. Opened to a whole new culture, opened to real struggle and pain, but also opened to a whole new part of the United States that I might have never had a chance to see and really explore had I not gone. This also gave me the opportunity to meet a fantastic group of new friends that helped, watched, and grew with me along our journey of service. As a group, we hit a few bumps and lost some members but we also gained a bond that, no matter how many miles are between us, will always be part of us. We had to open up to one another and let our guards down because very early on we realized that for some of us, we were all we had throughout this year. We had to be each other's family because most of our real family was so far. Tears were shed at times but mostly, we laughed constantly, reflected on the year, and soaked up each minute with one another. I will never forget how they were there for me in Tampa when I found out a close friend had gone into the hospital in critical condition. We sat and prayed and at that moment, they were truly a family to me--comforting me even though they had no idea who it was that was in the hospital.
Since being back, it seems like living in Florida was ages ago because the life I have at home seems so different from how it was in Florida. I am staying quite busy: preparing for the upcoming school year, spending time with friends and family, but also trying to keep in mind that it's okay to slow down and take time for myself. Time for personal reflection became very important to me this past year and that's something I know God wanted me to take away from my year.
I worry for a lot of things still and am not entirely sure how to put this past year into words but I do know that being part of the volunteer program for the year has made me a better person. My relationship with God has been strengthened and because of Him, I am so grateful. I've made new friendships but been able to keep the 'old' ones as well. I've come to appreciate the life given to me and I hope you all do as well.
As I wrap this up for one last post, I hope that you realize how important it is to give back what's been given to you. If we all give a little more and take a little less, weigh out our wants versus our needs, and really focus on the importance of relationships with one another, then our lives will be filled with more joy. God came to Earth so that we could be happy; "I have come that you might have life and have it to the fullest." (John 10:10)
Thank you for all the love and support you might have ever given me.
"Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier." ~Mother Teresa
No comments:
Post a Comment