Unorganized Mind

Sometimes I think I have too many thoughts but am not as good at expressing them as I like to think or am very unorganized when I do so please do not criticize too much if this a little out of order.  All week I have been attempting to write my testimony that I mentioned last time.  I have finished writing it but am not quite satisfied.  I have had so much happen this past week but have just been in a slump I suppose.  Today in Mass, the homily was about how we have all these materials because we think that is what is going to make us happy but yet, we still want more.  We buy more and more because that's what is going to fulfill us.  Now I obviously am not out to buy my happiness because I joined a volunteer program in order to simplify my life.  I do think I have become ungrateful for what I have at times though, even if I do not say it.  This past week at school was fast and many of my students are doing well.  It's the end of the school year so they are a little more rambunctious but overall, they are pretty normal.  One of them even wrote a biography about me saying she is my lucky charm and how much I will be missed.  I love the joy my students bring me and Julissa and I have really been enjoying our days together, more than normal it seems.  So maybe it's not school that has me in a slump.  I think that it is the fact that all my friends and baby sister are graduating and I haven't or won't be there to watch any of them walk across the stage.  Many of them were there for my high school and/or college graduation, sharing in my big moment, so not being back to celebrate with them is hard on me.  I even watched the live stream of ESU's graduation yesterday morning and cheered proudly for all my friends that walked across the stage.  Madelyn said I was crazy for doing that but that was the only way I was going to feel connected to them at all at that moment.  I had plenty to keep my mind occupied but yet I could not help but feel down for not being back for everyone's graduations. 

On Thursday night, Patricia won tickets on the radio to the Lady Antebellum, Darius Rucker, and Thompson Square concert in Palm Beach so after the excitement calmed down. We enjoyed our evening and I was able to sleep in on Friday a little bit.  We had teacher in-service which consisted of a 2 hour meeting and then myself, Patricia, Julissa, and another teacher went for lunch at Panera.  It was nice to spend some time with them outside school and relax on our day off.  Patricia and I went to pick up the tickets after and had ourselves a little adventure.  We were still going off our energy from the night before so were having ourselves a great time in the car.  Saturday, after I watched the graduation, I kept writing my testimony and really couldn't tell you what I did the rest of the day until I got ready for the concert.  We headed up to Palm Beach, only about an hour away, and soaked up the concert atmosphere.  The concert was at an ampitheater and our tickets were for the lawn so we grabbed our chairs and found a spot.  It reminded me of the Riverfest and felt like home.  The concert was perfect.  Each artist was unique but like most of country music, their songs always made a connection with me.  Patricia even said she's going to have to start downloading some new songs because she enjoyed it so much.  After the concert was over, I went back to the apartment and soaked up the day's events.  I found my mind wishing that I was back in Kansas again with my newly graduated friends.  How selfish am I sometimes? I went to a fantastic concert for free and I'm still wishing for something more. 

I'm so glad the homily today was about being grateful for what you God has given me. I've not had a horrible life down here at all, especially compared to the lives of some of my students.  I need to be grateful for the people that are with me in this moment because my time with them is getting shorter.

Also, it's Mother's Day so just another reason I wish I was back home but I think my mom and grandmas know that.  I love them very much and cannot begin to talk about how grateful I am for all their love and support throughout this year. God has been so good to me.