Anyway, today in school, I just could not help but think much easier it would be if I only had one grade. I know that if God brings me to it then He will bring me through it. It is just very challenging to teach 2 grades at the same time. I just worry some days that I'm not cut out for this position. I like teaching, I do but I worry that my other teacher does not think I'm going to be able to pick up on it and do well. It takes time, I know, I know. I do enjoy the little lightbulb moments in my students eyes though sometimes. I was able to work one on one with one of my second grade girls today because she didn't understand last night's math. It was so nice to just sit and work with her and not talk to anyone else. Really spend time with her and work with her learning style. She's a sweet girl and I could see her excitement when she finally picked up on the concept. That made my day and stress about teaching much better.
We had a staff meeting today and the majority of it was spent talking about Facebook and technology. One of the students got expelled this week because of some comments he made and posted on FB about St. James. Father Pierre was very distraught by this so he sat in on our staff meeting in order to get our opinions on what to do. They are going to have a meeting to educate all the parents of the school how to make sure their students are being safe on the Internet. Some of the teachers wanted all the students to shut their Facebook profiles down but these students are smart so they would just make another one. I guess students as young as first grade have them and I think that's a problem. I don't really think that middle schoolers need them either but they have them so we just need to make sure these tweens and teens are making good decisions while they are on Facebook. That was a very long conversation today and I know it needed to be had but none of the teachers can prevent them from having a FB. The parents really can't either with all the technology out today unless they take away the computer or are extremely strict on them.
After school, I was able to talk to one of my college friends, Petra, and catch up with her about teaching in the Wichita Diocese again and her little girl and husband. She was like a big sister to me in Emporia so it was nice to hear her voice and we always related to one another very well so I was able to talk to her about some of my stresses and worries. Her and her husband have a non-profit started in Wichita so they are also great to talk to about being down here and doing volunteer work. After that, Patricia and I had planned on going to this meeting for the volunteer organization in our county but as I was looking on the website, I noticed that you had to register to attend the meeting beforehand. As I finished looking, I also saw that the meeting was full. They are serious about their volunteering! We will make it to this orientation meeting eventually! After that realizing that, Patricia and I decided to venture to the apartment office because one of us has a package apparently. We weren't sure if it was still open but we went on a walk to there anyway. It was closed but as we were walking along the path of our lake, we went through the pool outside our apartment. We took a gander at the grill and the wheels in our brains started going. Patricia and I decided that since we had planned on being gone for an hour anyway tonight, we would grill out and make a delicious dinner for ourselves! Amanda was having dinner with one of her friends so it was just the two of us. Patricia had been marinating some chicken breasts already so we got those out. We brought all the supplies for that down to the grill by the pool and then our adventure to start a grill started.
We had turned on the gas, or so we thought, Patricia kept light matches and throwing them in but it wasn't lighting. I decided to call my friend Joel because we just could not figure it out. I read him the directions in hopes he could tell us what we were doing wrong. As I was reading, I realized we might have missed a step. Turning on the gas valve that actually lets the gas go to each of the grills. Minor detail. Once we got that problem solved, I went back up to the apartment and made a salad for both of us. Cut up our romaine, green and red peppers, and some avocado. I put the dressings, some wine, glasses, and silverware in a bag and brought it all down. I made a second trip to grab the radio and after a little unpacking, we had a nice dinner set up by the pool. The chicken came off the grill and it was delicious. I call Patricia the "grill master" now. We ended up sitting, eating, and talking for the new few hours at least. She told me she was proud of me for taking time out from my normal school work at night to do this. I told some silly stories about myself such as clotheslining myself, camp stories, running into a door, falling into the lake as a young child, and the list could go on. Typical stupid "Lauren" moments or as they call me now, "Amelia Bedilia". These stories fit right in with my new name. She got a kick out of them though and shared a few silly moments herself. We talked about the stars and how they just aren't quite the same here. I definitely miss the big, bright stars from Kansas. I told her about the song from Sugarland where it says, "They say in this town, the stars stay up all night Well I don't know, can't see them from the glow of the neon light." and about 10 minutes later, that song came on the radio.
Another song that came on the radio while we were sitting there talking was "I'm Already There" by Lonestar. I began to smile because lately I have been feeling a bit down in the dumps about being so far away. It had been getting to me and while there were little things that made me feel better, like hugs from my students during the day, I still just wasn't feeling myself. My dad told me yesterday that he is counting the weeks til I come home and that made me almost cry. A few tears probably did come down. (It's 44 weeks by the way.) When I heard this song by Lonestar tonight though, I realized that everyone that I miss is still with me. They always pop up in my dreams. I even had a dream about Camp Hyde last night that made me flash back to my last day there in July--singing 'Lean on Me' together, everyone sharing their kind remarks about me, getting thrown in the pool one last time. It all makes me smile. I just have to remember that the memories don't go away and neither will those people unless I push them away. This brings me to another worry that I have sometimes. I worry that people will forget about me while I'm down there. It is selfish but it is something that pops into my mind occasionally. God puts people into our lives for different amounts of time. Sometimes, that time might be our whole life, like my wonderful family for example, but people might also only be in our lives for a short period of time. I can't change that. It's not always my choice how long they stay in my life. I need to be grateful for the true people that have been given to me. God has blessed me with lots of amazing, loving people so why do I worry about the people that might not be around when I come home? I'm not sure.
So many thoughts tonight! On a major plus side, 15 days til Julia Morgan comes to visit and about 2 months til I get to see mom, dad, and Madelyn! For those of you reading, thank you for being in my life. You shape who I am and will be.
We had turned on the gas, or so we thought, Patricia kept light matches and throwing them in but it wasn't lighting. I decided to call my friend Joel because we just could not figure it out. I read him the directions in hopes he could tell us what we were doing wrong. As I was reading, I realized we might have missed a step. Turning on the gas valve that actually lets the gas go to each of the grills. Minor detail. Once we got that problem solved, I went back up to the apartment and made a salad for both of us. Cut up our romaine, green and red peppers, and some avocado. I put the dressings, some wine, glasses, and silverware in a bag and brought it all down. I made a second trip to grab the radio and after a little unpacking, we had a nice dinner set up by the pool. The chicken came off the grill and it was delicious. I call Patricia the "grill master" now. We ended up sitting, eating, and talking for the new few hours at least. She told me she was proud of me for taking time out from my normal school work at night to do this. I told some silly stories about myself such as clotheslining myself, camp stories, running into a door, falling into the lake as a young child, and the list could go on. Typical stupid "Lauren" moments or as they call me now, "Amelia Bedilia". These stories fit right in with my new name. She got a kick out of them though and shared a few silly moments herself. We talked about the stars and how they just aren't quite the same here. I definitely miss the big, bright stars from Kansas. I told her about the song from Sugarland where it says, "They say in this town, the stars stay up all night Well I don't know, can't see them from the glow of the neon light." and about 10 minutes later, that song came on the radio.
Another song that came on the radio while we were sitting there talking was "I'm Already There" by Lonestar. I began to smile because lately I have been feeling a bit down in the dumps about being so far away. It had been getting to me and while there were little things that made me feel better, like hugs from my students during the day, I still just wasn't feeling myself. My dad told me yesterday that he is counting the weeks til I come home and that made me almost cry. A few tears probably did come down. (It's 44 weeks by the way.) When I heard this song by Lonestar tonight though, I realized that everyone that I miss is still with me. They always pop up in my dreams. I even had a dream about Camp Hyde last night that made me flash back to my last day there in July--singing 'Lean on Me' together, everyone sharing their kind remarks about me, getting thrown in the pool one last time. It all makes me smile. I just have to remember that the memories don't go away and neither will those people unless I push them away. This brings me to another worry that I have sometimes. I worry that people will forget about me while I'm down there. It is selfish but it is something that pops into my mind occasionally. God puts people into our lives for different amounts of time. Sometimes, that time might be our whole life, like my wonderful family for example, but people might also only be in our lives for a short period of time. I can't change that. It's not always my choice how long they stay in my life. I need to be grateful for the true people that have been given to me. God has blessed me with lots of amazing, loving people so why do I worry about the people that might not be around when I come home? I'm not sure.
So many thoughts tonight! On a major plus side, 15 days til Julia Morgan comes to visit and about 2 months til I get to see mom, dad, and Madelyn! For those of you reading, thank you for being in my life. You shape who I am and will be.
Beautiful post, Lauren.
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